2003/09/29 04:53

In florida - settling in the hotel room - well suite, it has a kitchen (sorta necessary since we are living here for a month). Quite tired, even though it was a relatively short drive for me (18 hours plus 2 hours in New Orleans to visit Sideshow).

 2003/09/30 11:18

We checked out our stage and break area last night. This year we are along the queue line outside the Funhouse of Fear - apropos no? Its a house full of evil killer clowns. Also working that same stage will be a costumed lady with a beard and a talker. It should be fun.

 2003/10/01 10:00

Tonight is the Horror Nights Employee preview - that means we have a short night of shows (two sets) as a sort of working run through for the event. It will be employees only tonight - not open to the public. Hopefully the lighting will be worked out and we'll get to find out if they are going to go ahead with the banners and such.

Last night we had dinner at Bahama Breeze with Scott's cousins who are down here on vacation. Today we are going to head to Flipper's Pizza for our usual patronage of their lunch special and then get things ready for tonight. After the preview we'll probably make our return pilgrimage to the Orlando Ale House.

 2003/10/01 23:48

Flipper's was great as usual - I find it hard to believe there is a better lunch special around (especially for my picky food tastes...)

We did two sets for the employee preview - with 20+ nights left that leaves well over 100 more to go. All went well, my timing was bit off but nothing major. Since the majority of people knew of from years past I got alot fo 'Hey Erik's from the crowd.

Kudos to the tech and art staff who had our lights and a damn sweet banner (painted last minute) up for us well ahead of time before we hit the stage.

For anyone thinking of visiting - we go on, on the hour starting at 7pm.

After we finished up we hit the Orlando Ale House for a bucket of beers and jalepeno poppers (Scott had wings). It was a fine beginning for the run...

 2003/10/02 10:27

The only separating IMPURE from I'm Pure is punctuation.

Today is an off day - no shows. Tommorow will be the first of a three day run. Plans for today including working out, thinking about the show and some small tweaking, working on my next BME Column (rights and responsibilities), and probably making some phone calls.

 2003/10/03 14:31

Waiting for a phone call, waiting to go in to the park and perform, waiting.

I'll take some pictures of the stage and banner tonight - they'll be up late tonight or tommorow afternoon.

 2003/10/04 00:09

First night of Horror Nights went really well - though I felt tired for most of it. The crowds were slow now and then but for the most part people stopped for the show and very often we had people calling for me when I wasn't on stage.

 2003/10/05 14:11

Today thus far, got up and worked out, checked email, etc. The rest of today: make some phone calls, work on BME column, go into park and perform.

Tommorow: workout, lunch at Flippers, check out the Rock's new movie.

Tuesday: Hit the parks for fun.

Other activities and necessities to be added as needed

 2003/10/06 16:16

Hit the treadmill and the hit the lunch special at Flippers. FAter that, swung by the Orlando Mall - only to discover there isn't a movie theatre there - WTF? I did get the 2004 Ferret Calendar for Meghan though. A little bit of research found the rundown playing later tonight on International Drive a little ways from the hotel - so in the meantime we hit another great local tourist attraction...

 2003/10/06 21:57

Went to see The Rundown - I liked it. Liked it a lot actually. There were some weird directorial choices in terms of the transition shots and such but it was a fun flick and pretty much what I expected - but very well executed.

The machine around The Rock right now is doing an excellent job and he is capitalizing on the oppurtunities in great fashion. He should be case study for anyone looking at marketing and developing personalities.

 2003/10/09 19:34

Get up, check email, reply to email, get phone call from National Geographic - another possible TV gig in the making, go workout (30 mins a day on the treadmill), clean up, hit flippers pizza - damn fine pie (sick of me talking them up yet? Tough, its good food, damn cheap, and they are very nice to us), then a visit to the Orlando Ripley's Odditorium.

The odditorium had some cool stuff and I think the ticket price of about $15 is pretty fair considering. Not much of me inside, except some clips on video monitors from the TV show. However, I am on the cover of the latest hardcover book they put out and in most of the others they were selling in the gift shop.

Tommorow Horror Nights is on again, so we will be in the park by 6pm and onstage starting at 7pm. I heard through the grapevine that some of the ride show people were annoyed that the funhouse of fear line jams up alot because people stop the line entirely while watching my show instead of going into the house. I take it as a compliment - and, of course, we told them to put us on an independent stage...

 2003/10/11 01:10

Part of the deal with being on a queue line stage is that the audience includes a variety of people - some came just to see me, some don't want to see me, some are happy for the added attraction of me, other are downright belligerent. I don't so much want hecklers as I welcome the challenge of putting them down and in their place.

The problem with most hecklers though is that they are not half as witty as they are loud.

Why is this a problem? Well, its generally easier to formulate a reponse to a thoughtful comment than the random dumbass call of 'gross' or 'thats stupid'. Now, I am armed with a number of quick and easy classic lines that are time tested (thank you Don Rickles) and will work for any comment but the best shots are the ones that hit them directly and topically. This past night was a good one for shutting people up - including one idiot who I put down off microphone in front of his friends who then thought he would be a big man by shouting 'you won't say that on the microphone'. Well, I was being nice by saying it off mic but then I got him to identify himself and announced via the mic (which echoes very far through the park) that he was indicating he had small genitals.

 2003/10/12 00:11

We got our first taste of the florida moisture tonight. Not too much, but enough of a drizzle to soak the stage and cut one set short.

The nice thing about our setup is that I always make sure I am the one who makes the call for safety - which means that technically I can cancel any act or set by deciding its unsafe. Now, I do try to do every set whenever possible - even if it is abbbreviated or cut back. However, its nice to know that if I wanted I could technically call off the show for bad juju...ah, drunk with power.

Also tonight, I watched the latest Jagermeister tour video - which will run between sets during the current slayer and hatebreed tour and be offered to the audience on free dvd's. They have included some good footage of me from our tour earlier this year - I'm very happy with it. If you go to one of the shows, make sure and get yourself one - they are usually passed out by the jagerettes at the end of the show as people exit.

 2003/10/13 12:18

Apparently last night was designated for drinking...

After the last set in the park we headed over to the Alehouse and began enjoying the $2 drinks...I believe I ended up with something like 5 or 6 pints of gin & tonic. Mmmmmm. So much for getting up early today and heading into the park to ride the coasters. I think we're meeting some people for lunch.

 2003/10/13 22:16

Yep, they called me overexposed. They being a casting company for a tv show that is having a hard time casting a role which their very description of seems like it was lifted from my bio and press kit info. But, since I am overexposed to their minds - they are trying to find someone else. The funny thing being that they have been trying for almost 9 months now! They probably would have never even conceived of something like this character if not for seeing me on shows like ripleys and various documentaries.

Fucking idiots - I am what you want, hire me!

 2003/10/14 21:44

We were going to hit the park and ride the coasters but the ID they gave me was screwed up and so we didn't get in. Oh well, its being fixed and I had other business to attend to anyway.

I dubbed off two promo tapes to send out to people - booking is a constant job. And then we went to see Kill Bill

I enjoyed it enough, but I don't think its the best Tarantino film - at least not for me. The action was all I expected but the story and dialogue could have given me more. I'll still have to see vol 2 though, of course.

 2003/10/15 23:36
I forgot to bring the straightjacket into the park tonight - so that was cut from the show for the evening. I better remember tommorow though - its already sold out. That means they have already sold in excess of 20,000 tickets but they won't turn people away at the gate simply let them know it will be crowded.

Otherwise, it was a good night - the crowds this year have been very good and responsive. I've easily ad libbed a few pages worth of new heckler responses...

'Did you day that was gross/disgusting ma'am? Well, I don't think its any worse than waking up next you in the morning must be...'

'I love witty and informed hecklers - if you know any, send them over'

 2003/10/16 23:52

Well, I remembered the jacket tonight and the shows went well - the hours were extended to 2am due to the event being sold out, which meant our last set was around midnight.

I believe the funhouse of fear is getting good reviews and word of mouth (which I think I am part of) because our lines were filled and the crowds were enthusiastic.

It is phenomenally cool to getting a roaring ovation for simply wakling onto the stage.

 2003/10/18 00:56

Another night in the park - going pretty well. The Eternal and Gravedigger's Daughter (from IAM) stopped by, caught the show, and chatted for a bit.

It would appear that the National Geographic project is very close to becoming a reality - sweet.

My back is getting a little chewed up from taking around 18 darts a night but nothing a hot shower and a cold beer couldn't fix.

 2003/10/18 23:53
Second to last show of the night I got a group of guys who thought they were incredibly creative because they could scream blowjob references real loud while I had a sword down my throat. So, of course, one I removed the sword I responded one by one to all their 'oh so common and unoriginal' lines. The rest of the crowd, of course, laughed at them and I went on with the show. But, of course, not being the brightest bulbs on the marquee they decided they had to go on - but the best they could do was simply scream the same things as before over and over.

Maybe I'm too critical - I should probably actually expect more dumbasses out of a crowd of 25,000+ attendees - but WTF?!

 2003/10/20 01:36

During one of my sets, near the very end, a fight broke out on the queue line. We didn't really notice until we finished and really took a good look. Coming off stage a good 30+ feet from it we could hear the impact of the punches - someone got the hell beat out of them and some of the people doing it got away by running off since the nearest security was back at the entrance. Once the cops responded we watched as laser sighted tasers tracked the involved parties while they were subdued. Ah, another day in the park.

We have another couple days off now - gonna go hit the rides and gift shop.

 2003/10/20 23:25

After a fine sunday night at the Alehouse I dragged myself out of bed, woke up Scott, and we headed into the park. First off, we rode the Ice coaster of dueling dragons - last year we rode Fire. Ice seemed to be a bit more jerky and roll more - lots of fun. After that we took the reccomendation of some people from a few nights ago and rode Cat in the Hat - not bad, lots of spins (compared to what I would have expected). I think its main appeal beyond kids would be if you were just a little drunk or otherwise in an altered state. From Suess it was onto the hulk - a great 2.5 minute ride, I really like the accelerator start. Finally, we hit spiderman - still impresses the hell out of me. A note for anyone planning on hitting Orlando parks. We did this on a monday afternoon in October - our longest wait was for spiderman and it was still only 20 minutes. We pretty much just walked onto Hulk and the dragons wait was only about 15. In less than 4 hours we hit four popular rides and did a bunch of gift shopping and general walking around.

 2003/10/21 17:06

Ran errands and worked out this morning, followed by a trip into Universal Studios to go on Shrek 4d (very nice, I reccomend it) and visit with Shan and some of her cast members, and finally do some gift shopping. I got a couple things for Meghan and something for my sister - but I will have to wait to get what I had picked out for my parents till tommorow at least since they moved the stock to another location in IOA.

A number of people in Universal studios (including one gentleman who was apparently a reviewer for something) mentioned catching my show at horror nights and liked it alot. I've also gotten a number of nice emails about the show. Hopefully this means good things for my bigger project hopes for next year.

 2003/10/21 22:10

I like cinnamon. I often chew raw cinnamon sticks. I like them soaked in whiskey too.

I just tried the new crest cinnamon toothpaste - mmmmmmm.

 2003/10/22 23:30

Alarm went off, I went back to sleep.

Later, I got up. Scott and I grabbed lunch with Kim and her man Steve at the Alehouse - Kim was an animal trainer at Universal the past two years but recently left. She befriended us our first year.

Then, it was into the park. Tonight was light compared to the past weekend - only about 10,000 people in the park and they were generally older and more mature. It went by pretty quickly and all the shows went well.

 2003/10/24 14:43

Nope, not Flipper's this time. We actually ate at Gino's today (I still have my lifetime discount beer cup from them from 2001 when we first came to horror nights) along with brian and Jess (the eternal and gravediggers daughter). Afterwards we wandered the area a bit and hit a couple novelty shops - one of which carried the various rubber duckie product versions. So, I picked up a couple devil ducks and a glow in the dark devil duck to compliment the bathroom redecorating that Meghan has been doing.

Now for some stats and pics...

On an average night here in Orlando this is what I end up doing at 'work' (onstage):

Put a fork up my nose six times
Hammer six nails into my face
Slide a screwdriver into my skull six times
Put a running powerdrill in my face six times
Six straighjakcet escapes
Put my hand in a steel raccoon trap six times
Lift and swing a barstool from my earlbes six times
Get eighteen darts thrown into my back
Six times swallowing a two foot sword
and a snake crawls through my skull (in the nose out the mouth) six times

Not a bad evenings work. Now the pics: Our break area, Me and Lizzie (one of the house characters), Omega, Jen, and Myself (actors who also work my stage area), the aforementioned Ducks.

 2003/10/25 00:41

Well, the last entry let you know what I do in an evening at the park - want to know what I do when I get back to the hotel afterwards...

First, I put Cricket back in her big cage. Then I hang up the straightjacket to air out. After that I take off my boots and show shorts, grab a cold beer and stretch out in a steaming shower while I drink the beer. Once I finish the beer, I get out of the shower, towel off, grab another beer and a snack and hop online to do email and check IAM.

Real Glamorous, eh?

 2003/10/26 09:57

I tried to finish my gift and souvenir shopping for people yesterday by going in to the park early - but the store I wanted was closed down already in preparation for horror nights. So, it looks like we'll ba making another trip into the park one of these days - maybe we'll hit a coaster or two before going to the stores.

Tonight is the last night in a five day run, then we have tommorow off, and then its five more straight to end the event.

Tommorow will involved a few errands and necessities, but I am mainly devoting it to our yearly pilgrimage to Gatorland.

 2003/10/27 21:30

Last night went well at the park - had some good shows. For the last one there were people waiting for me to see the show. One of them even gave me an origami crane. I also got some cool emails from people who saw the show - all going into my proposal to universal for a bigger show next year. It's nice to be appreciated.

Today was gatorland day. Fun as always - they have done some renovating and re-vamped their shows a bit. The gator jumping show has been nicely upgraded. We were also lucky enough to catch the feeding of an eastern hognose snake. There were a couple of amputee gators too - I didn't get to ask if they were voluntary, but I am assuming not.

 2003/10/29 09:04

Last night was pretty rainy - enough so that all of my sets were cut short and one was cut completely. Doesn't break my heart - sometimes its nice to get a little time off. In fact, I could go for a nice tropical storm. Four nights left.

 2003/10/30 09:55

Goose Bumps - Not from being scared, but rather a bit chilly. The temperature in Orlando dropped suddenly last night. I actually thought I might cut Cricket from the last set or two because I didn't want her out there getting cold (she is the finale, and so she has to be on the side of the stage for about 16 minutes). It wasn't horrible, but the low 60s to high 50s can get to you when you are only wearing shoes and a pair of shorts and you've been lounging in the mid 70s heat.

Otherwise the night was clear and crisp and the crowds were good. Three more nights to go (including tonight) and then its up to NY to see my family for a couple days before the Binghampton convention. As nice of a gig as this is, I am ready to go.

In my mind I can already see myself driving back to Texas from Binghampton and heading out to Vegas with Meghan for our vacation.

 2003/10/30 23:34

Good news today - Universal is going to give us the banner they made up for us for the show! Very cool.

Another good night of shows. Two nights left and they should be huge - a friday night halloween and saturday night follow-up.

 2003/10/31 08:13

I had been a little worried about Cricket (my green snake), for the last week her appettite seemed to have dropped off, but she was otherwise fine and active. Throughout last night I noticed her getting a bit less responsive and active than usual. I had my suspicions and bad feelings and they proved to be true - she was on her way out.

This morning I woke early and immediately went to check on her, she had passed away during the night.

She was a great snake and performer - she saw more of the world than many people having toured the entire continental US with me repeatedly, and she will be sorely missed. The real kick in the pants now though is that I have to pull together, move on, and find another snake ASAP today.

 2003/11/02 00:52

Halloween Horror Nights has closed down for another year. All in all, I think it was successful and we were not only appreciated by the crowds but almost a sort of expected element now in our third year. It's nice to have that sense of home onstage.

This evening Meghan was aprt of a fetish fashion show - I am waiting to hear how it went, but I'm sure she was amazing.

The great Orbax was recently injured during a show. Remember kids - this shit is dangerous. He was a very experienced performer, well ahead of many others I have seen. The warnings I, and others, give are serious and real. PAY ATTENTION, IF ONLY FOR YOUR OWN DAMN SAKE.

 2003/11/03 21:13

The drive up took a little bit longer than expected with some extended meal breaks and construction. Still, I am currently at my parent's house in northern NY.

Despite not sleeping I have still been negotiating three different issues throughout the day and doing quite a good job in my own estimates - I guess we'll see when it comes to the bottom line.

I'll be staying here a couple days and then heading to Binghampton for the convention this weekend.